The Art of doing NOTHING!

Everyone seems to be busy today, rather extremely busy. There is always something that is waiting to be done. So much so that the moment we are a little free, our body doesn’t like it; and we need to keep doing something. When we are free here are a few common sights (which, even we are a part of!) –

• Scrolling the screens of our mobile phones
• Opening and closing whats app
• Simply keep flipping the channels on television
• Fidget with the ball pen
• Playing Candy Crush Saga on mobile
• Pick up the phone and call someone
• Log into facebook/ twitter etc and keep browsing
• Keep arranging/ cleaning things in the kitchen
• Put on the music the moment we sit inside the car 

 

In this fast paced world, somewhere we have forgotten to ‘just be!’ Somehow we just can’t be in the state of ‘doing NOTHING!’ The body wants us to keep doing something or the other. If we are not doing anything, we feel totally uneasy.

If we go way back into history, our own ancestors’ didn’t live in a so-called ‘modern world.’ Their lives were not as fast as today. The modern technology was not there at all. But yet the discoveries they have made is so phenomenal. Aryabhatta gave us ‘zero’ without which nothing much is possible even today; Susruta was a master surgeon who did complicated surgeries; Charak was the first person to have spoken about digestion and metabolism; Patanjali gave us the art of maintaining a fit body through Yoga; Chanakya gave us the art of management; Isaac Newton gave us the concept of gravity; Galileo told the world that the sun is stationary and earth goes around it; and so many more.

All such discoveries were possible because they practiced the art of doing NOTHING. Since there weren’t many machines, they had to do work manually. Inspite of that they had time to ponder and make discoveries.

I firmly believe that all of us have been blessed with huge intelligence. It is when we do NOTHING does this intelligence come to the fore and give us crucial insights and realizations. For that intelligence to flow, we need to allow our body and hence the mind to be unoccupied. When the cup is filled with tea, how much ever more tea we pour, it will fall out.

If we practice the art of doing NOTHING, here are some things we can achieve – 

• As a businessman, when I can spare something time and think, I will be able to come up with fresh ideas to take my business to next level and hence be a leader amongst fellow competitors.
• As parents if we can think about various qualities that we want to inculcate in the child, we will know how exactly to mould them.
• As a spouse, can I think of what all places I should be helping him/ her to develop so that they have great self-belief?
• As an employee, can I think what should I do so that I do justice to the organization that is paying me for my living? 
• As a child I must take out time to come to a conclusion as to doing what will make my parents feel proud of me.
• In a creative field, a little time to ponder will help me develop wonderful creations.
• If I am an eligible bachelor, to ponder and have clarity of ‘the one core quality’ I definitely want in my life partner.
• As a teacher, a little thinking time will make studies very interesting for kids. 

Here, let me clarify that doing NOTHING does not mean sleeping or lazing. Doing NOTHING is when physically I might not be doing anything as such, but my mind is wondering and pondering on positive developments in various aspects of my life.

It need not necessarily be done sitting in a room or office. I can go out on a long drive with myself; I can sit on a beach looking at the water; I can lie on the grass gazing the stars; I can sit under a tree; and so on! 

Vis-à-vis my life –

There is no shame in admitting that even I was a party to this thought that if I am not doing something, I am wasting my time. Or rather I would feel uneasy doing just NOTHING. I would constantly be doing something to occupy myself. But, of late I have realized and have truly started believing that my intelligence will be utilized to the fullest only if I give it enough time and allow it to just ponder.

I have already begun doing it (and hence writing this blog), and finding that I am coming up with some amazing ideas and thoughts. It means that I was always capable, but I just didn’t allow my mind to work. 

Yes, the body will still want to get engaged in different activities. But it is time we tell it to relax; and then let the mind do all the activity. I assure that we will certainly be zapped with the inputs our own mind gives us! 

Personally I feel that this is one of the most beautiful developments that I have had. I have decided to get used to this amazing thing called – The Art of doing NOTHING!

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading! 

A CHILD-LIKE Adult

Diwali has been my favourite festival for a few years now. I love the lights all around, along with the buzz it creates within family and friends. I eagerly look forward to the Diwali festival (and the subsequent holidays). The excitement was equally high this year too.

Around three days before Diwali, out of blue, my wife Arpita threw up this question during dinner – “Is baar apan killa banaye kya?” (Should we make a castle this time?) The instant thought that came was – We are not kids anymore. How can we do it now? But, within a few seconds another thought followed – we had a great time when we made it as a child, didn’t we? A few childhood memories flashed, as if it was happening that very moment! What a wonderful time we had! Coming back to the present, without wasting another minute, everyone at home immediately seconded the idea.

Within a couple of days, we were at it! With a few challenges on how to go about making a ‘killa’, we managed to create a structure out of stone and mud. It wasn’t the best looking as such, but it was ‘our killa’ after all. We did it all by ourselves. I felt nostalgic. What a complete feeling it was!

I thought that apart from making a killa, all of us must be having some things we loved doing when we were kids. So, immediately today morning, I WhatsApped a few friends and asked them – what were their fondest childhood memories. Here are a few interesting replies –

• Cycling away to glory with friends or siblings
• Buying vegetables with mother
• Playing with pets and making homes for them
• Reading books for ceaseless hours
• Imagining myself being a character and imitating them
• Making and flying kites
• Making paper boats and leaving them in water streams
• Getting wet in rains
• Doing various science experiments
• Watching movies with family
• Crazy stuff like mixing shampoo with shaving cream and seeing what happens
• Dream ----- ‘One day ….’
• Playing various outdoor games – cricket, football, lagori, marbles etc.
• Drawing and painting endlessly
• Being creative with Art ‘n’ Craft
• Playing carrom/ chess/ Life/ Scrabble/ etc.
• Having fun with dolls and kitchen sets
• Collecting cards/ stamps/ coins etc.
• Playing un-harmful pranks
• Making tracks for cars to jump and tunnels to go under
• Gazing at the stars, just like that

I am sure you would have done a few out of these. Those were great moments of our lives. As we grew up, such activities have taken a backseat. We have kept them stacked somewhere way behind in our memories with lots of layers covering them. Infact, a few friends who replied also sent me a ‘Thank You’ for reviving those memories.

Agreed that we grow and life moves on. But nowhere is it written or said that once we become so called adults, we can’t do things, which we used to do as kids. At this moment, read the list again. This time with a perspective of what all we can still do in spite of having become adults!

I will not be surprised if you tell me that most (if not all) things are do-able as an adult too. It’s just that we have got so pre-occupied in our daily lives that it doesn’t strike us to enjoy doing them too. If you are one of those very shy persons, take some kid along and do them! But it is an experience certainly not worth missing!

Vis-a-vis my life –

Even I had got caught in the loop of doing only ‘adult-like’ things. Until ‘Our Killa’ came, even I was living thinking that I am enjoying the life I am living. But realised as I was writing this blog, that I am actually missing out on so many joys of life.

The joy we experience in doing these is un-paralleled. The feeling is beyond words. Doing these things (rather even thinking) even today brings a smile on our face. I personally feel that it is such moments, which make our every day delightful. Yes, we cannot become a child again. But instead of being an adult, we can certainly be ‘A CHILD-LIKE ADULT!’

Love,

Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

Do NO HARM, take NO SHIT!

One of the most mindboggling applications that have revolutionized the world is undoubtedly – WhatsApp. Most people’s world is incomplete without using it. Initially people used it for fun to exchange photographs etc. But now, the whole use of WhatsApp has changed! People have started to use it widely for professional purposes alongwith connecting with loved ones. 

Even I haven’t spared myself from WhatsApp. I use it quite frequently. Apart from checking the messages that come, I love to do one more thing, which most people might not be doing! I love to check the ‘status’ of people on WhatsApp. While some use the basic ‘ready status messages’, most are very innovative. At times, it speaks about them, their mood, their location etc. I love reading them!

One day as I was leisurely scrolling, I hit upon this awesome status of my dear friend – Nikita Narang! The moment I read it, I went, ‘WOW!’ It read – “Do no Harm, take no Shit!” The moment I read it, I had learnt a brilliant lesson! It couldn’t have been put in a simpler way.

There are times when I want to be ‘nice’. In this process, people take me for granted and carry on in their lives. They will bank on me when they need me, but otherwise their behaviour is not that great. But, I seemingly don’t want to spoil my image of being a ‘goody-goody’ person, hence I allow people to treat me like that. I tell myself, ‘One day they will realise…’ 

• An employee has been taking things for granted, yet I don’t say anything and allow things to drift.
• My wife is not being given due respect at home, yet I keep mum thinking – what can I say? 
• My friends keep passing sarcastic comments again and again, but I find it tough to speak my heart.
• My boss doesn’t allow me to take a leave even on genuine reasons, but for the fear of loss of job, I don’t want to speak up.
• I am being a very sincere and obedient son. For some reason, my father finds only the faults and never appreciates. I listen to everything not even attempting to explain my point of view. 

Let me clarify that I am not saying that we must fight it out or attack the other person (verbally, of course). The point I am trying to make here is that while I will be a nice human being, it is my responsibility to ensure that I am not taken for granted by people. At places where I must speak up / act, I will need to do that.

It will be foolish to keep waiting until people realize and change themselves. It might take too long or may never happen at all. But I only have one lifetime to live. I must ensure that I feel proud of the way I live. Will I ever feel proud of myself when I know that I am being taken for a ride and I am doing nothing about it? 

Vis-à-vis my life –

From the moment I have read Nikita’s status, something within me has changed. Am I an authority on this yet? I don’t think so. I have a long way to go. There have been enough times where I have allowed people to take me for granted because I wanted to save my image of ‘a nice person!’

Not anymore! I will do everything possible to ensure I feel proud about myself. I will not allow anyone to take me for a ride. But, keeping in mind that – I will always talk with total respect and never put anyone down. I shall not use foul language, I will not shout, I will not be aloof, I will not speak anything being emotional and throwing tantrums. I will communicate, but with total respect for the other person.

Nikita, if you are reading this, you have given me a super learning. I will ensure from now on – I will DO NO HARM, but at the same time, TAKE NO SHIT!

Love,

Amit Kothari

always upgrading … 

(P.S.. – Do change your WhatsApp status from the default one! I will be waiting to read it)

If not NOW, then WHEN?

‘There have been various theories that each one of us would have heard somewhere or the other – India is going to be a super power; India will lead the world; India will soon be a developed nation, and so on! All this is great to hear, but I am a staunch believer in the fact that – until there is a strong political system at the helm of the country’s affairs, we can never reach the stage we dream about. It is just going to be possible in dreams.

I do not support any political party as such. For me, any person/ party, who can make things move and happen, are right to lead India. We, as a nation, are seeing our Prime Minister (PM) Narendra Modi ji do that of late. Ever since Modi ji has taken oath, things seem to be moving! India seems to be on a roll. His recent visit to USA was a huge event. The entire world took note of it. He blew people away with his speeches and thoughts. Looking at him work, I believe that things are set to move for us as a nation.’

These thoughts were running in my mind as I was taking shower the day after PM Modi ji completed his USA tour. It struck me that if he is doing so much for the growth and progress of the nation, what should my role as an Indian be? There are enough times when I want to do something, but hold myself back for some silly reasons. It was then that this statement hit me – If not NOW, then WHEN? 

Thinking a little deeper, I realized that if this thought can be expanded a little more and taken into our daily lives, so much could happen – 

• I am thinking of moving from a job to business. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to talk to an employee about certain issues. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to pursue a longtime hobby, but don’t get time. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to work on my fitness. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to give surprises to people. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to see some awesome places in the world. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to buy a luxury car that I can afford. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to spend more time with my children, rather than focusing only on work. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I desire to get anger completely out of my system. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I aspire to go on a pilgrimage with my wife. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I dream of having a clean India. I want to do my bit. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to do something for the society. If not NOW, then WHEN?

I feel that there are loads of desires we have to do things. However, we stop ourselves by giving an excuse (most common being – I don’t have time!), or conveniently get into a monotonous routine. We need to halt and ask ourselves about the desires we have! We need to pay heed to those desires.

For, the time will fly. Even before we realize, it will be a few years gone. There would be no point in brooding over it later. Now is the time!

Vis-a-vis my life –

This question has jolted me. It was like a lightning that came and struck me out of nowhere. I realized that there are times when I delay things (though I have become much better than before), just taking them for granted. I let time pass.

I have decided to keep this thought right at the top of my mind. The moment I ask myself this question, it creates a sense of urgency in me. It will certainly propel me as a person and in everything I do! 

Though the entire nation is chanting, ‘NaMo’, ‘NaMo’ (thanks to our PM Modi ji), my chant is – ‘If not NOW, then WHEN?’, ‘If not NOW, then WHEN?’

Love,

Amit Kothari

... always upgrading 

It's a SURPRISE!

Every year we celebrate 15^th September as my dad’s birthday (!). It is like any other day, except for a dinner somewhere outside. 

This year, we thought to make it special for him right through the day. So, as we went for yoga early in the morning, we picked samosas and pedhas for everyone there. A day before, I requested his people at office to decorate his cabin (they did a fantastic job of it!). Then, I called a few of his close business friends to office at 11am. I took a cake for him, which we cut at office in presence of his staff and business friends. This was the first time that he celebrated his birthday in office. Later, I sent an SMS to his near and dear ones to wish him if possible on his special day. That day, he received calls from absolutely unexpected people! Finally, we had our dinner on the terrace of our new house! The setting was magical – dim lights, my family and evergreen hindi songs humming in the background. The moment was perfect; not a single leaf moved. It seemed the world stood still! We made him go up before us and came from behind with a cake. The blush on his face was a sight to see! As he cut the cake, we put on the song – “Tum jiyo hazooron saal …” 

Oh! What a brilliant day it was! More than him, we all felt ecstatic. All of it was a SURPRISE for him! 

As we went to sleep, he sent me an SMS – “Aaj ki surprise party rakhane ke liye bahot bahot thanks. Majja aaya! (Thanks for planning the surprise party. It was great fun)” It got me to think that life is all about creating such joyous moments, isn’t it? It is even more fun when the other person is not expecting it at all and we do it. Remembering such moments brings a smile to our face. Such memories make one’s life worth it. 

It doesn’t take a full day effort, or an event to give a surprise. It can be done in day-to-day routine – 

• Taking flowers for the women/girls in the house. At least one to each.  
• Just dropping in at your wife’s workplace and having lunch together.
• Landing up at a cousin’s house midnight to celebrate his birthday.
• Flying to a sister to celebrate Rakhi.
• Taking Indian Burger (vada pav) for colleagues at office.
• Buying a dress for my wife.
• Gifting a saree to the maid in the house.
• Writing a letter of appreciation for a loved one.
• Just dropping by and saying ‘Hi’ to a friend as I am passing by.
• Taking a favourite ice cream for mom as I come back from work.
• Sending WhatsApp to a teacher letting her know what she means to me.
• Gifting a jacket to the watchman who stands guard in chilled winters.
• Making a same T-Shirt for me and my wife with some cute wordings.
• Recording a song in my voice for my wife (irrespective of the kind of voice God has given me)

Vis-a-vis my life –

I cherish creating such awesome moments for people in my life. I love to see that smile on their face. Hence, I keep doing something or the other. For me, it is not an effort, but something that I ‘want’ to do. 

It seems that we have got into this trap of ‘rat race’, where all of us are running day in and day out. In the process, we seem to have forgotten how to make people feel special. We seem to be saying, ‘I’ve got no time; I am too busy; I have too much work to do, and so on!’ But, if the intention is there, our own mind gives creative ideas. We just have to ask it to work. 

I believe that making someone feel special is the best thing that I can do. It is these moments, which will make them live a few extra years. Hence, I have decided that I will keep giving myself opportunities where I will be able to say to enough people – “It’s a SURPRISE!” 

Love,

Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!