The 'Ravana within'

By now, you would already know about my latest trip to Sri Lanka (Ayobowan Sri Lanka). We went to various places and did a variety of things. One of the most beautiful experiences was  – the wild life safari at Yala National Park.

Earlier, I had been to Tekaddy (Kerela) Forests, Kanha National Park, and Kali Forest to see animals in the wild. But, in that matter my track record has been really bad. So, as we were taking the tickets to enter Yala National Park, my mind was telling me – actually, there is no point in going in; as I wouldn’t get to see much. Should I be spending as much (the safari would cost us about Rs.5000/-)? Though the doubtful thoughts were going on, I still bought the tickets.

The moment we reached the entrance of Yala, a wild elephant stood on our left! Looked like a lucky day. Even before we entered the National Park, an elephant welcomed us. As we went in, we saw – elephants, deer, crocodile, rabbits, mongoose, monitor lizard and many types of birds. This was my best safari experience till date.

Greedy, a man is! I told myself that though I have seen everything, how about sighting a leopard, which Yala is famous for! The witty mind immediately said – if these guys (the driver and guide) show me a leopard they deserve a monetary reward. I told myself – Rs.500/- is apt for them.

We were desperately searching for a leopard for a good half an hour after that thought. But luck eluded us. For me, it was nothing new at all. I was like expecting this. But the next moment, our driver got a call that there was a leopard seen. We immediately rushed to the spot.

Finally, it was the moment! We could see it clearly. Resting on a tree, he was chilling out! He didn’t bother that so many people are watching it. It was lazing. My happiness knew no boundaries – it was right there, after a long wait! But in the background, the mind started playing tricks – it told me, “Amit, these people have shown you the leopard. You had promised them Rs.500/-. But, isn’t this their job to show animals? So, why pay them that extra?” The mind started playing games and finding reasons why I should not give them the tip that I had myself promised.

Similarly our mind plays such tricks with us in various situations –

• As I wake up in the morning, the ‘Ravana within’ says it’s OK to sleep for 5 more minutes (which invariably become more than that).
• I know exercising should be a part of my daily routine, but ‘Ravana within’ makes me believe that I am too busy and don’t have time to take care of my body.
• I have taken an appointment with a client. I know I have left little late from my office. I feel disappointed that I won’t be fulfilling my commitment. But, the ‘Ravana within’ reminds me that the traffic is too bad, else I would have reached.
• I have promised my family that I will take them for dinner. But a client comes and I get late. I am feeling a little guilty. The ‘Ravana within’ gently utters that you are doing everything for them only. It’s not for personal benefits. 
• The traffic light is red, and no policeman is manning the signal. Though I want to follow traffic rules, I skip the signal and move ahead. The ‘Ravana within’ states that it’s OK to do so. It isn’t a busy signal anyways.
• As a person, I will have my opinions about various things. They wouldn’t be accepted all the time. The ‘Ravana within’ means tells me that the best way to counter is to rebel and throw tantrums.
• I have done a mistake, which will invite firing from my loved ones. But I don’t like to be shouted at. So, the ‘Ravana within’ covers up by telling lies.
• I have committed to myself that I will complete the project within 3 months. As the deadline nears, I know I am going to fail in the commitment. The ‘Ravana within’ comes up with awesome reasons why it is OK not to have been able to live upto the commitments made by me. 

Whether we like it or not, there is ‘Ravana within’ each one of us! There is a constant war going on inside me - whether the Ravana or the Ram (doing the right) in me would prevail! The more the Ram in me would prevail, the better my life will be. A fruitful living will be only possible if I can make the ‘Ravana within’ sleep more and The ‘Ram within’ awake most of the times!

Keeping the ‘Ram within’ awake and the ‘Ravana within’ sleeping is possible if I can remain alert. Everytime the ‘Ravana within’ has taken over, heart of heart, I don’t feel good. I feel guilty/ bad after that. The solution is - If I can simply be alert to the tricks the mind is playing, the ‘Ravana within’ can be sleeping more often. The moment the ‘Ravana within’ wants to wake up, all I need to do is smile and sing a lullaby and put it back to sleep!

Vis-à-vis my life –

At times the ‘Ravana within’ does take over the ‘Ram within’ me! Now that I have written about it, I have no choice but to be alert and ensure that the ‘Ram within’ is awake and the ‘Ravana within’ sleeping; rather hibernating!

As far as the giving the tip to the driver and guide and Yala National park is concerned, I could make the ‘Ravana within’ sleep and hence was happily able to give that tip to them!

Let me awake the ‘Ram within’ and hibernate the ‘Ravana within!’

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

REACTION vs RESPONSE

One of my dear friends, Ashwin Shah, shared a lovely story which I thought of forwarding to all of you – 

“A beautiful speech by Sundar Pichai - an IIT-MIT Alumnus and Global Head Google Chrome -

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ... it landed on another lady in the group.

 

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

 

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

 

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

 

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

 

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

 

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

 

In life, more than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life. I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of!”

 

Are there times in my life too when I REACT whereas I can RESPOND – 

• The traffic is stuck because a driver ahead of me seems to be struggling to get his vehicle started. I can react by honking; on the other hand, I can respond by understanding that even he is not enjoying waiting on the green signal, but there must be an issue.
• My father is shouting at me for something wrong I did at work. I can react by getting angry and banging things. Instead, I can respond by simply listening to what he has to say. After all, he is not my enemy. In his own ways, he wants to save me from blemishes.
• My wife is irritated at the series of events through the day. Add to it, I come late where I promised to come early. The moment I enter, she starts firing me. I can react by shouting back at her and saying – “Ghar mein bhi shaanti nahin hai.” (There is no peace at home too). If I really love her, I will respond by saying and meaning ‘Sorry.’ Maybe a little later hug her and ask what made her behave like this.

I strongly advocate the fact that – “REACTION always complicates; whereas RESPONSE always solves!” Every time I look back into - my life, my loved ones lives, my friends’ lives etc., this hold true everywhere. I haven’t come across a single situation where reacting has solved an issue.

 

Haven’t we so often gone through this – I react to a particular situation and behave abruptly. When I calm down, I realize that it wasn’t the right way of handling the situation. In various ways, then I attempt to apologize.

 

According to me, the best way to handle this is – to take a 20 second break before saying anything when there is a negative situation. Though they seem too less, these are magical 20 seconds! These 20 seconds can be the difference between – REACT and RESPOND.

 

Vis-à-vis my life – 

Not to brag about myself, but I think I always respond to situations. I hardly remember an incident when I reacted and made things worse. In fact, I have more memories of times when I could have reacted, but chose to RESPOND! That is probably one reason I haven’t snapped off any relationship as such!

 

I wish to live by – RESPOND, and even BETTER RESPONSE!

 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!