Communication Solves it all ....

Wikipedia says – “Communication (from Latin commūnicāre, meaning "to share") is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more participants.”

Usually communicating with others involves three primary steps –

Thought: First, information exists in the mind of the sender. This can be a concept, idea, information, or feeling.

Encoding: Next, a message is sent to a receiver in words or other symbols.

Decoding: Lastly, the receiver translates the words or symbols into a concept or information that a person can understand.

 

The modern world we stay in today, many things have changed and some have totally disappeared - like the three steps of communication. In today’s times, the stage of ‘encoding’ seems to have disappeared. It is taken for granted that the message SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD without actually saying it in words! (Sounds funny, doesn’t it?). Hence, the ‘decoding’ happens in its own ways; obviously not congruent to the encoded message (that never ever happened!).

 

Let’s talk about it in layman’s language with a few examples – 

• The Mother-in-Law (MIL) expects the daughter-in-law (DIL) to understand a few things that she must do as part of the family. But the DIL doesn’t really feels that it ought to be done like that since she has never seen it happen at her house.
• The boss feels that the employee should behave in a certain way. Unfortunately, the maturity of this experienced boss is different than the thought process of this young recruit.
• The teacher assumes that the students must sit in rapt attention in the classroom. On the other hand, a kid’s phone just beeped with a WhatsApp message, which he can’t resist seeing.
• The daughter is supposed to reach home before the deadline defined by the father. Yet, she sees that her brothers are allowed to come home at a time they think is convenient.
• The husband has enjoyed all the luxuries of life without having to struggle much and hence, has a relaxed way of doing things. But the wife has had a tough teenage life where she had to struggle. She loves to sort out things instantly.
• The sister and wife have issues with each other. They complain to the brother / husband (which is the same person). To the brother / husband, both look right (!)

I need not really elaborate on what will happen in all the above situations! It will lead to a few heart burns, misunderstandings, blame games, anger, frustration, loss of mental peace, and so on! I am sure; we would have experienced at least one, if not all situations!

Though the issues look complicated, the solution is very simple! A simple sentence to myself – I WILL COMMUNICATE would set so many things right. Which means, the moment I feel that someone has done / is doing something, which I don’t think is right, I will talk it out instead of keeping it to myself and hence process even more negative thoughts! We always want the other person to understand, but we don’t want to take efforts to understand them (sounds hilarious, doesn’t it? But secretly we are doing this!). Our thinking is, “At least they should understand this much! Should I be telling everything?” 

 

Modern technology has given us more and more tools to communicate with fellow human beings. But instead of communicating on important issues, we love forwarding jokes and messages. We, as human beings somehow seem to have stopped COMMUNICATION; especially on important issues! The onus or fault is always others.

 

Vis-à-vis my life –

 

Of late, I have been genuinely working on this. I too used to be the kind where I thought, “Does everything need to be told? Isn’t it so obvious?” But realised that everything isn’t as obvious for everyone as it is for me! People have different ways to doing same things. Hence, for my peace of mind, I must COMMUNICATE! This is the best way of keeping things simple and uncomplicated!
 

At times, our big ego stops us from taking the initiative. But take it, we must for our own peace! How much ever bad the situation looks at the moment, yet if I decide to communicate, things can be back on track. The mental turmoil I save myself from is worth billions!

 

I strongly believe that communication is magic. If there is a complicated situation, only COMMUNICATION CAN SOLVE IT ALL ….. 

 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

Fauja hi Fauja ....

Ever since I have heard about this man – Fauja Singh, a few concepts of my life have dramatically changed. He is passionate about running and says, “I am very fond of my running shoes, I absolutely love them. I wear them for pleasure. I can't imagine my life without them.” He has completed 8 Marathons, 3 half Marathons, and several short distance runs. In one single day, he set eight world records for running in 100 mts, 200 mts, 400 mts, 800 mts, 1500 mts, 1 mile, 3000 mts, and 5000 mts. He bettered five previous records and set three new, which were not attempted before. He was featured in an advertising campaign for sportswear manufacturer Adidas alongside David Beckham and Muhammad Ali. 

Hold your breath as you read this (in case you have never heard of Fauja Singh before) – Fauja Singh began training for running Marathon at the young (!) age of 89 years. Singh shot to fame when, at the age of 93, he completed the 42 kms distance in 6 hours and 54 minutes. This knocked 58 minutes off the previous world best for anyone in the 90-plus-age bracket. All the eight world records were set when he was 100 years old.  The moment I read about him – I was wonderstruck. “WOW” is what popped out! I was stunned to know that at the age of 100, someone can be so fit. For fitness, he immediately became my inspiration! He is about 103 years old now and still going strong!

Once a reporter asked him, “Don’t you feel pain when you run for so long at this age?” A valid question, isn’t it? But his reply was brilliant. Without pausing for a single second, he replied, “When I run every morning, my body aches. But if I don’t wake up, it will ache in the hospital. I prefer my body to ache on the run, rather than in the hospital. My choice is very clear!” (Re-read this paragraph if it hasn’t seeped in yet)

There are innumerable of us who make a resolution on every 1^st January that “I will exercise consistently from now on!” But within a week, it dissipates. The excuses are similar with just little tweaks here and there –  

• I have too much work. Though I want to, I have no time to exercise.
• I have to drop my kids to school. When and how to exercise?
• I have lots of household chores to take care. Isn’t that exercise enough?
• I am too young right now. When I become 40 years, I will start. Right now is the age to eat, drink and chill.
• I don’t get enough sleep in the night; hence waking up is an issue.
• How much ever I workout, there is no effect on the body. What’s the point of taking so much effort?
• Anyway, God has decided my lifespan. Me working on my fitness can’t change it at all. So, why exercise?
• I have no company. Exercising alone is so boring. (If you fall in this category, do read one of my blogs – ‘Learn to Train Solo’)

The issue is that we give fitness the last priority and not the top priority. Everything else should be done. If there is some time left, then I might workout. We are too casual about it. We think everything will go fine. Let’s forget everything else. I want each one of you reading this line to think – “What will happen to your family / loved ones, if you are not there?” If possible, do close your eyes for a couple of minutes and imagine the scenario. Will they miss some lovely moments you usually give them? Will they miss your presence? Will they miss the laughter you create? Will they miss you on the dinners and movies you went together? Will they miss your warm hug? Would they enjoy seeing me on that hospital bed?

I know these might be a little emotional questions. But, I really wish that each one of you who is reading this article, but doesn’t exercise regularly, imagine the possibilities if (God forbid) something happens to you. The intention is not to scare anyone or become negative, but make aware how important each one of us is in the lives of our loved ones. 

Vis-a-vis my life –

Fortunately, I have always been a regular fitness freak. I love being and feeling fit. I don’t need external motivation to workout. In fact, my mother says the opposite, “At times, you can sleep. Don’t exercise so much!” I never want my loved ones to miss me just because I was casual about my health. Hence, for the last 15 years now, I have been exercising very regularly. 

I would like to conclude by relating to this interesting comparison shared by my teacher Naren - We send our cars to the garage for denting and painting. But it is not as good as the original. Similarly, when we go to a hospital for a major illness, the doctor does some ‘denting and painting’ inside our body. But it is never as good as the original. It is always repaired! 

Fauja Singh is truly my inspiration for fitness. The moment I feel lazy about working out, I just have to hum …. Fauji Hi Fauja!!!!!! 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!