By
birth, I am a Jain. As I opened myself to the world and learnt about various
religions and their teachings, I realised that every religion has beautiful
messages to give. My thought process changed. For me, I no longer wanted to
imbibe the learning of one religion. I now want to learn and take all the good
things about all the religions.
Being
born in a Jain family would obviously mean hearing more of Lord Mahavira’s philosophies.
One of His teachings, which I have heard a lot, is – LIVE and LET LIVE. The
meaning is very simple. It means that I should live my life and allow others to
live theirs. Let me not harm anyone. Hence, Lord Mahavira gave various ways of
life where one ensures we don’t even harm something as miniscule as an ant. I
believe that these three words are extremely powerful.
In the
modern world, I feel we don’t understand this teaching. He said – Live and Let
Live, and not – Let Live and Live. It means that first let me focus on my life
and then focus on others, and not vice versa. The question I wish to ask you
is, “Are you too caught in that mirage of going all out for others but caring a
damn for yourself?”
- Do you go all out for your family members even
if your health takes a toll?
- Do you help out a colleague in office, while
your work is pending?
- Do you give time to the rest of the world, but
find no time for yourself?
- Do you keep giving money to others, and have
none left for yourself?
- Do you accommodate unexpected guests, though your
planned activity is incomplete?
- Do you help your friend in completing the
journal, whereas your journal needs a little bit of fine tuning?
- Do you wish to entertain your relatives, even if
you suffer in the process?
- Do you run around completing the worldly
commitments, not bothering to work on your own fitness?
- Do you leave your room in a mess, as you
complete tasks given by others?
- Do you keep working late in the night,
forgetting to understand the importance of sleep?
I am
sure you are thinking – if I keep thinking about myself first, am I not being
selfish?
My answer
is a big NO. Selfish is when I care a damn for others’ feelings and emotions,
and do things just because it is convenient for me. But, ‘Live and Let Live’
means I take care of myself first to be able to do more than what I am
currently doing. A few things supplement what I say. As you would have sat in the
flight, the attendant explains the safety instructions. One of them being – ‘if
the oxygen in the cabin drops, the mask will drop. First help yourself before
you assist others.’ For a mother to be able to feed a child, she must first eat
nutritious food.
It
is not about being selfish. I truly believe that if I have taken care of
myself, I will be able to take care of my loved ones even better. If I have good
health, I will be able to serve my family more; if I have completed my work
first, I will be able to help others with total attention; when I am sorted out
with enough time for myself, will I be at peace and hence, raring to help
others.
Vis-à-vis my life –
I
have always been the kind of person who will do everything possible to keep
others happy. I would forget about my priorities, my needs and myself. I would
always think of others first; in case I can do more, then I would think about
myself.
But
of late, I have realised that in doing so, I am not helping others or myself. I
feel suffocated if I can’t say NO when I don’t want to do something. It never
gives me a feeling of being excited. Hence, I have started to ensure that my
priorities remain my priorities and everything else rotates around it. Though I
am not yet an authority on it, the attempts are already on.
Giving
myself second precedence is like trying to draw water from an empty well. I can
keep complaining why the bucket is not getting filled. The fact remains that there
is no water left in that well. Whether I am a Jain or not, if I can implement
this small idea in my life, I will feel so elated and light. I am ready to bet
that you will feel like doing more than what you are already doing. I
definitely wish to do and achieve more. Hence, I am going to FIRST LIVE; THEN
LET LIVE!
Love,
Amit Kothari
...... always upgrading
