What’s my BUTTON?

It was well past the ‘so called’ working hours during the day for me. But, my day wasn’t over yet. I was meeting one of my dear friend Shripal Gandhi, who is the Founder and CEO of Swipe Telecom. I was stunned to see his growth in the past two years. He has leaped from 0 to 100 crores in 15 months! He is such an inspiration to me! Though it was around 10:30pm, I was quite fresh! I was looking forward to meet him!

We met, hugged and sat over a cup of coffee! I shared with him a proposition, which I thought was very interesting and exciting. He heard it, rubbished some, pondered over some, and obviously had feedbacks to give me! I was bowled over sheerly by the way he thought! (afterall you don’t reach 100 crores just like that!)

Everything looked rosy until Shripal dropped a bomb! He caught me by surprise with a deadly question! He asked me, “Amit, since long I wanted to ask you – WHAT IT YOUR BUTTON?” I couldn’t understand what he meant by that. He saw my bewildered face and further clarified – “What is that, which keeps you going? What makes you look forward to your tomorrow?”

After thinking for a few minutes, I shared with him my goal for 2020. He listened with eyes of appreciation. But, his question remained the same. He said, “What you are sharing is a financial goal. But, if I keep money away from it, what will be that thing which you can keep doing without getting tired? Even if results don’t come the way you anticipate, you can keep doing that as passionately as you started; believing that it is a matter of time it clicks with people!” I was dumbstruck! Everything around just seemed to have frozen! Honestly speaking, I didn’t have an answer for his question. There were a few things I did other than work, which I enjoyed. But, I didn’t know whether that was ‘my button.’

Though we spoke further about a few more things, that question – “WHAT IS YOUR BUTTON” kept lingering. As I was driving back, I turned off the music system so that I could ponder on this awesome question. Some interesting and insightful thoughts followed –

·      Am I actually doing something, which I love doing? Or is it a family business I am continuing? Or am I doing because I have a bachelor or master degree in that field?

·      Am I caught into this “rat race” of a daily routine, where I seem to be busy full day? But at the end of the day feel tired and not satisfied or content?

·      Am I doing whatever I am doing for sake of money or maybe because I don’t know what else to do?

·      Am I stopping myself from doing what I wish to do because I don’t have courage or maybe because I don’t want to face the refusal of my loved ones?

These questions have hit me like a trace of bullet. I answered a few questions; but still don’t have clarity on most. I am eagerly looking forward to answering these questions to myself.

I sincerely believe that I have just one lifetime to live and that must be lived at the fullest! I should be able to live a life where at the end my comments should be – “WOW! What a lovely life you have lived!” I need not do anything for money. One philosophy also says – I should not run behind money. Instead money should run behind me!

I have decided that I really really want to find out – “WHAT IS MY BUTTON!” As suggested by Shripal, I am doing a ‘three step process’ to possibly find that out –

1.    I will talk to my nearest and dearest ones. I shall ask them to think and write 5 of my best qualities! I will get atleast 5 people to write for me!

2.    Once they have done that, I will ask them that depending on these qualities, what do they think is the best thing for me to do? Once you have their responses, I am going to sit with it to analyse if a “Eureka” moment happens!

3.    If I come across something, which I feel I will enjoy doing, I will take action and do it. So many times, I just don’t take the step.

I am kind of curious and excited as I am going to do this ‘three step process’! Until I find ‘my button’, I will continue to do the best in what I am currently doing. But from now, the search is on. I will go all out to find out – WHAT IS MY BUTTON?

Have you found out YOUR BUTTON yet? Would love to know from you!

Love,

Amit Kothari

…… always upgrading!

..... because I said I would!

After a lovely 3 days at the ‘Happening’ Las Vegas, we had taken a colourful Southwest Airline flight to Tampa in Florida USA, where my in laws stay. It was a long flight of about 7 hours (WOW! That’s quite a distance locally, isn’t it?). Being a local flight, there wasn’t any in-house entertainment. As the flight took off, Arpita (my wife) dozed off! Since, I wasn’t sleepy, I picked up a magazine in the seat pocket and started browsing. I chanced upon this awesome article about a person named Alex Sheen!

Alex was another of those normal technical guys who graduated and started working for a software firm. Things were going normal until he came to know that his father had cancer. After a brief fight, his father passed away on 4^th September 2012. He loved his father and was very close to him. He wanted to honour his father and keep him always alive in his memory.

After thinking about various options, he came up with something unique. His father was great at keeping promises. Hence he created a brilliant thing called – PROMISE CARDS. He instructs people to fill out these Promise Cards and give them to the person they make the promise to. Once the promise is kept, they get the card back.

These Promise Cards were loved by people. So much so, that he launched a non-profit organization in the name of – ‘Because I Said I Would.’ They have sent more than 250,000 Promise Cards in over 82 countries!

I wondered – Aren’t there many instances when we promise something and end up not doing it at all? Maybe we will start, but won’t continue to pursue it! Here I am not talking about situations where someone forces us to take a decision. A decision, which I have myself made. Afterall, haven’t we commonly heard people say – New Year Resolutions are meant to be broken!

I am of a staunch opinion that whatever happens I must never ever break any resolution/ promise/ decision etc (what ever you like to call it ..) that I have given. That promise might be to myself, to my parents, my friends, my siblings, my relatives, my teachers, and so many more. There is no point in just saying things on the spot and later realizing that it was over commitment. I would rather, take some time to think before committing. But, once I commit, come what may I should and would do that, which I have said! It can be the smallest of things –

·      Keeping up the promise given to my spouse of brushing my teeth every night.

·      Waking up at a time I have set the alarm to.

·      Leaving for office at a time I have declared at home.

·      Living upto the resolution of dropping 4 kgs in four months.

·      Returning phone calls of people at time/ day I have told them that I would.

·      Controlling my spikes of anger at the smallest and biggest thing happening around me, as decided by me in the motivational training program I did.

These are just small day-to-day examples. We can carry it for larger perspectives of lives too – achieving the goal I have decided to; playing for the national football team that I always dreamt of; not just being a housewife but also creating an identity for myself, which I did before getting married; pursuing a hobby that I cherish doing; and so on!

I firmly believe that living to my own promises, is the biggest victory I can give myself. There will be people around who will appreciate me. But, why wait for people to tell me that I am good? If I can live upto my own promises, I wouldn’t need to wait for anyone to praise me! I would grow in my own eyes!

Such has been the impact of Alex Sheen in my life, that before I am about to commit anything, his face pops up and reminds me that if I am committing, it better be fulfilled! When such a question pops up, I tell myself – I will do it ….. “….. because I said I would!

Respecting People ...

 

We had gone to Udaipur to attend the wedding of my cousin. It was a grand wedding indeed! The stage was brilliantly designed (as if a stage of Indian Idol); the speakers were beating to give out great sound; the lighting created the required ambience for each function; and finally the dances pumped up the entire celebrations!

After a few hearty laughter sessions, socializing with people, and an eating riot, we were set to return to Pune. We decided to take a Volvo bus from Udaipur to Ahmedabad; followed by a train to Pune. We were seven of us – My cousin, his wife and three kids, my wife - Arpita and me.

In the Volvo, they were showing a movie, which we had already seen. My eyes were studded onto the screen. Though the eyes were glued; my ears started hearing someone talking in a low tone. It was my wife Arpita narrating the story to the elder kid sitting next to her. The immediate thought popped up that I should give her a stare and say, “Just let her watch. Why do you want to tell her the story?”

Instantly, my eyes got magnetized to Arpita’s face. The smile on her face revealed how much she was enjoying sharing the story! The subsequent thought made me feel like a bolt of lighting had just hit me! Wouldn’t it have been a huge disrespect to Arpita if I would have shut her up and taken off that cute smile from her face, if I would have made that comment?

It so many times happens that we think we are superior to someone and just rubbish their thoughts and ideas? We don’t even give others a chance to express! Even before they have completed the sentence, we jump to conclusions thinking we already know what they want to say.

• There is a decision to be taken. My wife listens patiently and then has a suggestion to give. But I think that she doesn’t know enough. I tend to rubbish her because I think I know her (which so many times, is not the fact) and that she is not the right person to give me any advice!

• Whatever is my age, for my mother I will always remain a kid. There would be so many times I take her for granted and shout at her, when all she is showing is care and concern!

• My sister is chatting on whats app as the vegetable is cooking. Engrossed in the chat she forgets to put the gas off and the vegetable gets burnt. Before she can explain, immediately a firing starts – ‘Can’t you put aside that mobile and cook properly?’

• I am the business head. A sales person has not met the targets for the month. Before he expresses his bottlenecks, I have already thrown him out of the organization!

• My best friend responds in a way, I don’t appreciate. I already have made up my mind and decided to break away from the friendship. I don’t even care to understand his perspective!

It is kind of funny to realize that things are expected dramatically different if I am at fault. If I give a suggestion to my wife, that should be accepted like a command. Being a parent, I seem to want to have a right to say anything to my kids without being questioned. If I am chatting on whats app, and forget to do something, a ‘sorry’ should set things right. If my organization has not met the targets, any excuse out of my mouth should seem a realistic reason for non-performance. If I have done something that has upset my best friend, I expect they should listen to me completely and forgive me instantly!

I firmly believe that the cause of such an indifferent behavior is non-respect! This small incident in the bus has made me realize something, which is too crucial. Touching someone’s feet, or doing a Namaste, or holding our head low etc., is not respect. To me respect is when I can listen to people around me completely and patiently! To me respect is when I attempt to understand other person’s perspective! To me respect is when I am ready to give someone another chance! To me respect is when I don’t pretend and treat everyone equally!

In short I have decided to RESPECT PEOPLE!