The Art of doing NOTHING!

Everyone seems to be busy today, rather extremely busy. There is always something that is waiting to be done. So much so that the moment we are a little free, our body doesn’t like it; and we need to keep doing something. When we are free here are a few common sights (which, even we are a part of!) –

• Scrolling the screens of our mobile phones
• Opening and closing whats app
• Simply keep flipping the channels on television
• Fidget with the ball pen
• Playing Candy Crush Saga on mobile
• Pick up the phone and call someone
• Log into facebook/ twitter etc and keep browsing
• Keep arranging/ cleaning things in the kitchen
• Put on the music the moment we sit inside the car 

 

In this fast paced world, somewhere we have forgotten to ‘just be!’ Somehow we just can’t be in the state of ‘doing NOTHING!’ The body wants us to keep doing something or the other. If we are not doing anything, we feel totally uneasy.

If we go way back into history, our own ancestors’ didn’t live in a so-called ‘modern world.’ Their lives were not as fast as today. The modern technology was not there at all. But yet the discoveries they have made is so phenomenal. Aryabhatta gave us ‘zero’ without which nothing much is possible even today; Susruta was a master surgeon who did complicated surgeries; Charak was the first person to have spoken about digestion and metabolism; Patanjali gave us the art of maintaining a fit body through Yoga; Chanakya gave us the art of management; Isaac Newton gave us the concept of gravity; Galileo told the world that the sun is stationary and earth goes around it; and so many more.

All such discoveries were possible because they practiced the art of doing NOTHING. Since there weren’t many machines, they had to do work manually. Inspite of that they had time to ponder and make discoveries.

I firmly believe that all of us have been blessed with huge intelligence. It is when we do NOTHING does this intelligence come to the fore and give us crucial insights and realizations. For that intelligence to flow, we need to allow our body and hence the mind to be unoccupied. When the cup is filled with tea, how much ever more tea we pour, it will fall out.

If we practice the art of doing NOTHING, here are some things we can achieve – 

• As a businessman, when I can spare something time and think, I will be able to come up with fresh ideas to take my business to next level and hence be a leader amongst fellow competitors.
• As parents if we can think about various qualities that we want to inculcate in the child, we will know how exactly to mould them.
• As a spouse, can I think of what all places I should be helping him/ her to develop so that they have great self-belief?
• As an employee, can I think what should I do so that I do justice to the organization that is paying me for my living? 
• As a child I must take out time to come to a conclusion as to doing what will make my parents feel proud of me.
• In a creative field, a little time to ponder will help me develop wonderful creations.
• If I am an eligible bachelor, to ponder and have clarity of ‘the one core quality’ I definitely want in my life partner.
• As a teacher, a little thinking time will make studies very interesting for kids. 

Here, let me clarify that doing NOTHING does not mean sleeping or lazing. Doing NOTHING is when physically I might not be doing anything as such, but my mind is wondering and pondering on positive developments in various aspects of my life.

It need not necessarily be done sitting in a room or office. I can go out on a long drive with myself; I can sit on a beach looking at the water; I can lie on the grass gazing the stars; I can sit under a tree; and so on! 

Vis-à-vis my life –

There is no shame in admitting that even I was a party to this thought that if I am not doing something, I am wasting my time. Or rather I would feel uneasy doing just NOTHING. I would constantly be doing something to occupy myself. But, of late I have realized and have truly started believing that my intelligence will be utilized to the fullest only if I give it enough time and allow it to just ponder.

I have already begun doing it (and hence writing this blog), and finding that I am coming up with some amazing ideas and thoughts. It means that I was always capable, but I just didn’t allow my mind to work. 

Yes, the body will still want to get engaged in different activities. But it is time we tell it to relax; and then let the mind do all the activity. I assure that we will certainly be zapped with the inputs our own mind gives us! 

Personally I feel that this is one of the most beautiful developments that I have had. I have decided to get used to this amazing thing called – The Art of doing NOTHING!

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading! 

Do NO HARM, take NO SHIT!

One of the most mindboggling applications that have revolutionized the world is undoubtedly – WhatsApp. Most people’s world is incomplete without using it. Initially people used it for fun to exchange photographs etc. But now, the whole use of WhatsApp has changed! People have started to use it widely for professional purposes alongwith connecting with loved ones. 

Even I haven’t spared myself from WhatsApp. I use it quite frequently. Apart from checking the messages that come, I love to do one more thing, which most people might not be doing! I love to check the ‘status’ of people on WhatsApp. While some use the basic ‘ready status messages’, most are very innovative. At times, it speaks about them, their mood, their location etc. I love reading them!

One day as I was leisurely scrolling, I hit upon this awesome status of my dear friend – Nikita Narang! The moment I read it, I went, ‘WOW!’ It read – “Do no Harm, take no Shit!” The moment I read it, I had learnt a brilliant lesson! It couldn’t have been put in a simpler way.

There are times when I want to be ‘nice’. In this process, people take me for granted and carry on in their lives. They will bank on me when they need me, but otherwise their behaviour is not that great. But, I seemingly don’t want to spoil my image of being a ‘goody-goody’ person, hence I allow people to treat me like that. I tell myself, ‘One day they will realise…’ 

• An employee has been taking things for granted, yet I don’t say anything and allow things to drift.
• My wife is not being given due respect at home, yet I keep mum thinking – what can I say? 
• My friends keep passing sarcastic comments again and again, but I find it tough to speak my heart.
• My boss doesn’t allow me to take a leave even on genuine reasons, but for the fear of loss of job, I don’t want to speak up.
• I am being a very sincere and obedient son. For some reason, my father finds only the faults and never appreciates. I listen to everything not even attempting to explain my point of view. 

Let me clarify that I am not saying that we must fight it out or attack the other person (verbally, of course). The point I am trying to make here is that while I will be a nice human being, it is my responsibility to ensure that I am not taken for granted by people. At places where I must speak up / act, I will need to do that.

It will be foolish to keep waiting until people realize and change themselves. It might take too long or may never happen at all. But I only have one lifetime to live. I must ensure that I feel proud of the way I live. Will I ever feel proud of myself when I know that I am being taken for a ride and I am doing nothing about it? 

Vis-à-vis my life –

From the moment I have read Nikita’s status, something within me has changed. Am I an authority on this yet? I don’t think so. I have a long way to go. There have been enough times where I have allowed people to take me for granted because I wanted to save my image of ‘a nice person!’

Not anymore! I will do everything possible to ensure I feel proud about myself. I will not allow anyone to take me for a ride. But, keeping in mind that – I will always talk with total respect and never put anyone down. I shall not use foul language, I will not shout, I will not be aloof, I will not speak anything being emotional and throwing tantrums. I will communicate, but with total respect for the other person.

Nikita, if you are reading this, you have given me a super learning. I will ensure from now on – I will DO NO HARM, but at the same time, TAKE NO SHIT!

Love,

Amit Kothari

always upgrading … 

(P.S.. – Do change your WhatsApp status from the default one! I will be waiting to read it)

If not NOW, then WHEN?

‘There have been various theories that each one of us would have heard somewhere or the other – India is going to be a super power; India will lead the world; India will soon be a developed nation, and so on! All this is great to hear, but I am a staunch believer in the fact that – until there is a strong political system at the helm of the country’s affairs, we can never reach the stage we dream about. It is just going to be possible in dreams.

I do not support any political party as such. For me, any person/ party, who can make things move and happen, are right to lead India. We, as a nation, are seeing our Prime Minister (PM) Narendra Modi ji do that of late. Ever since Modi ji has taken oath, things seem to be moving! India seems to be on a roll. His recent visit to USA was a huge event. The entire world took note of it. He blew people away with his speeches and thoughts. Looking at him work, I believe that things are set to move for us as a nation.’

These thoughts were running in my mind as I was taking shower the day after PM Modi ji completed his USA tour. It struck me that if he is doing so much for the growth and progress of the nation, what should my role as an Indian be? There are enough times when I want to do something, but hold myself back for some silly reasons. It was then that this statement hit me – If not NOW, then WHEN? 

Thinking a little deeper, I realized that if this thought can be expanded a little more and taken into our daily lives, so much could happen – 

• I am thinking of moving from a job to business. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to talk to an employee about certain issues. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to pursue a longtime hobby, but don’t get time. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to work on my fitness. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to give surprises to people. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to see some awesome places in the world. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I wish to buy a luxury car that I can afford. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to spend more time with my children, rather than focusing only on work. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I desire to get anger completely out of my system. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I aspire to go on a pilgrimage with my wife. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I dream of having a clean India. I want to do my bit. If not NOW, then WHEN?
• I want to do something for the society. If not NOW, then WHEN?

I feel that there are loads of desires we have to do things. However, we stop ourselves by giving an excuse (most common being – I don’t have time!), or conveniently get into a monotonous routine. We need to halt and ask ourselves about the desires we have! We need to pay heed to those desires.

For, the time will fly. Even before we realize, it will be a few years gone. There would be no point in brooding over it later. Now is the time!

Vis-a-vis my life –

This question has jolted me. It was like a lightning that came and struck me out of nowhere. I realized that there are times when I delay things (though I have become much better than before), just taking them for granted. I let time pass.

I have decided to keep this thought right at the top of my mind. The moment I ask myself this question, it creates a sense of urgency in me. It will certainly propel me as a person and in everything I do! 

Though the entire nation is chanting, ‘NaMo’, ‘NaMo’ (thanks to our PM Modi ji), my chant is – ‘If not NOW, then WHEN?’, ‘If not NOW, then WHEN?’

Love,

Amit Kothari

... always upgrading 

Communication Solves it all ....

Wikipedia says – “Communication (from Latin commūnicāre, meaning "to share") is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more participants.”

Usually communicating with others involves three primary steps –

Thought: First, information exists in the mind of the sender. This can be a concept, idea, information, or feeling.

Encoding: Next, a message is sent to a receiver in words or other symbols.

Decoding: Lastly, the receiver translates the words or symbols into a concept or information that a person can understand.

 

The modern world we stay in today, many things have changed and some have totally disappeared - like the three steps of communication. In today’s times, the stage of ‘encoding’ seems to have disappeared. It is taken for granted that the message SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD without actually saying it in words! (Sounds funny, doesn’t it?). Hence, the ‘decoding’ happens in its own ways; obviously not congruent to the encoded message (that never ever happened!).

 

Let’s talk about it in layman’s language with a few examples – 

• The Mother-in-Law (MIL) expects the daughter-in-law (DIL) to understand a few things that she must do as part of the family. But the DIL doesn’t really feels that it ought to be done like that since she has never seen it happen at her house.
• The boss feels that the employee should behave in a certain way. Unfortunately, the maturity of this experienced boss is different than the thought process of this young recruit.
• The teacher assumes that the students must sit in rapt attention in the classroom. On the other hand, a kid’s phone just beeped with a WhatsApp message, which he can’t resist seeing.
• The daughter is supposed to reach home before the deadline defined by the father. Yet, she sees that her brothers are allowed to come home at a time they think is convenient.
• The husband has enjoyed all the luxuries of life without having to struggle much and hence, has a relaxed way of doing things. But the wife has had a tough teenage life where she had to struggle. She loves to sort out things instantly.
• The sister and wife have issues with each other. They complain to the brother / husband (which is the same person). To the brother / husband, both look right (!)

I need not really elaborate on what will happen in all the above situations! It will lead to a few heart burns, misunderstandings, blame games, anger, frustration, loss of mental peace, and so on! I am sure; we would have experienced at least one, if not all situations!

Though the issues look complicated, the solution is very simple! A simple sentence to myself – I WILL COMMUNICATE would set so many things right. Which means, the moment I feel that someone has done / is doing something, which I don’t think is right, I will talk it out instead of keeping it to myself and hence process even more negative thoughts! We always want the other person to understand, but we don’t want to take efforts to understand them (sounds hilarious, doesn’t it? But secretly we are doing this!). Our thinking is, “At least they should understand this much! Should I be telling everything?” 

 

Modern technology has given us more and more tools to communicate with fellow human beings. But instead of communicating on important issues, we love forwarding jokes and messages. We, as human beings somehow seem to have stopped COMMUNICATION; especially on important issues! The onus or fault is always others.

 

Vis-à-vis my life –

 

Of late, I have been genuinely working on this. I too used to be the kind where I thought, “Does everything need to be told? Isn’t it so obvious?” But realised that everything isn’t as obvious for everyone as it is for me! People have different ways to doing same things. Hence, for my peace of mind, I must COMMUNICATE! This is the best way of keeping things simple and uncomplicated!
 

At times, our big ego stops us from taking the initiative. But take it, we must for our own peace! How much ever bad the situation looks at the moment, yet if I decide to communicate, things can be back on track. The mental turmoil I save myself from is worth billions!

 

I strongly believe that communication is magic. If there is a complicated situation, only COMMUNICATION CAN SOLVE IT ALL ….. 

 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

Fauja hi Fauja ....

Ever since I have heard about this man – Fauja Singh, a few concepts of my life have dramatically changed. He is passionate about running and says, “I am very fond of my running shoes, I absolutely love them. I wear them for pleasure. I can't imagine my life without them.” He has completed 8 Marathons, 3 half Marathons, and several short distance runs. In one single day, he set eight world records for running in 100 mts, 200 mts, 400 mts, 800 mts, 1500 mts, 1 mile, 3000 mts, and 5000 mts. He bettered five previous records and set three new, which were not attempted before. He was featured in an advertising campaign for sportswear manufacturer Adidas alongside David Beckham and Muhammad Ali. 

Hold your breath as you read this (in case you have never heard of Fauja Singh before) – Fauja Singh began training for running Marathon at the young (!) age of 89 years. Singh shot to fame when, at the age of 93, he completed the 42 kms distance in 6 hours and 54 minutes. This knocked 58 minutes off the previous world best for anyone in the 90-plus-age bracket. All the eight world records were set when he was 100 years old.  The moment I read about him – I was wonderstruck. “WOW” is what popped out! I was stunned to know that at the age of 100, someone can be so fit. For fitness, he immediately became my inspiration! He is about 103 years old now and still going strong!

Once a reporter asked him, “Don’t you feel pain when you run for so long at this age?” A valid question, isn’t it? But his reply was brilliant. Without pausing for a single second, he replied, “When I run every morning, my body aches. But if I don’t wake up, it will ache in the hospital. I prefer my body to ache on the run, rather than in the hospital. My choice is very clear!” (Re-read this paragraph if it hasn’t seeped in yet)

There are innumerable of us who make a resolution on every 1^st January that “I will exercise consistently from now on!” But within a week, it dissipates. The excuses are similar with just little tweaks here and there –  

• I have too much work. Though I want to, I have no time to exercise.
• I have to drop my kids to school. When and how to exercise?
• I have lots of household chores to take care. Isn’t that exercise enough?
• I am too young right now. When I become 40 years, I will start. Right now is the age to eat, drink and chill.
• I don’t get enough sleep in the night; hence waking up is an issue.
• How much ever I workout, there is no effect on the body. What’s the point of taking so much effort?
• Anyway, God has decided my lifespan. Me working on my fitness can’t change it at all. So, why exercise?
• I have no company. Exercising alone is so boring. (If you fall in this category, do read one of my blogs – ‘Learn to Train Solo’)

The issue is that we give fitness the last priority and not the top priority. Everything else should be done. If there is some time left, then I might workout. We are too casual about it. We think everything will go fine. Let’s forget everything else. I want each one of you reading this line to think – “What will happen to your family / loved ones, if you are not there?” If possible, do close your eyes for a couple of minutes and imagine the scenario. Will they miss some lovely moments you usually give them? Will they miss your presence? Will they miss the laughter you create? Will they miss you on the dinners and movies you went together? Will they miss your warm hug? Would they enjoy seeing me on that hospital bed?

I know these might be a little emotional questions. But, I really wish that each one of you who is reading this article, but doesn’t exercise regularly, imagine the possibilities if (God forbid) something happens to you. The intention is not to scare anyone or become negative, but make aware how important each one of us is in the lives of our loved ones. 

Vis-a-vis my life –

Fortunately, I have always been a regular fitness freak. I love being and feeling fit. I don’t need external motivation to workout. In fact, my mother says the opposite, “At times, you can sleep. Don’t exercise so much!” I never want my loved ones to miss me just because I was casual about my health. Hence, for the last 15 years now, I have been exercising very regularly. 

I would like to conclude by relating to this interesting comparison shared by my teacher Naren - We send our cars to the garage for denting and painting. But it is not as good as the original. Similarly, when we go to a hospital for a major illness, the doctor does some ‘denting and painting’ inside our body. But it is never as good as the original. It is always repaired! 

Fauja Singh is truly my inspiration for fitness. The moment I feel lazy about working out, I just have to hum …. Fauji Hi Fauja!!!!!! 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

KEEPING THE FOCUS RIGHT

I did my Masters degree from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia. As I was studying there for about 18 months, I realized that one of the most awaited and exciting event that happens in Melbourne is – F1 (Formula One) race. Melbourne is the place where the F1 season begins. One canalways feel the excitement in the air!

A few of my friends in Melbourne were great fans of F1. They would always make it a point to watch the F1 race. They told me something, which was brilliant. They told me that the cars zoom at the speed of 300 km/hour. (The sound in the circuit is deafening. You need ear plugs to be able to sit and watch it live). Until their focus is on the road ahead, they are always in control of their car. The moment their focus dwindles even for a mini second, they suffer in the race.

How true this is in our lives too! Depending on where my focus is, so are the results for me too. Let’s consider a few real life examples –

·         When I say it is a tough subject for me, how many times haveI scored well in it?

·        When my thought is that I am going to make a call to a customer who is a little tricky, do I actually ever end  up convincing that customer?

·         When I am of the opinion that I don’t think this friendship will last long, have I ever mended that friendship?

·         When I say it is recession time, have I ever grown in my business during that period?

The point I am attempting to make is that when I think of a situation in a negative way (which is my focus), invariably the outcome is never positive. Instead, how about shifting focus–

·   Irrespective of how tough the subject looks, with a little bit of extra studies, I should be able to score extremely well.

·        Though the customer looks tricky, today seems to be my day. I can convert any one into my customer.

·    Even when the friend is not responding the way I would like him to, I will take that initiative to build the relationship and get back to the good old times.

·     Doesn’t matter if it is a recession. Not everyone has stopped buying. Even if there is one customer who is buying, how can I get him to come to me?

VIS-À-VIS my life –

More often than not, I look at any situation with an intent to find a solution to it. Some situations bewilder me; some are fresh challenges; some don’t seem to have a straight solution.But when I set my mindto think – what is the best solution to this issue, a solution pops up automatically. I think this happens because I shift my focus onto – how to solve this?

I firmly believe in this concept and have seen this working for me. When I get my focus right, positive outcomes happen! Hence, I have promised myself to always KEEPMY FOCUS RIGHT …

Love,
Amit Kothari
……always upgrading!

A Re-View

IDEA Cellular is coming up with a few ads, which are quite interesting and hilarious. As the election fiasco was on, they made some classy ads. In one of the ad, a politician is promising that he will get water in the city. A young guy browses the internet on his phone using 3G facility and shows to the public that this same politician had made the same promise five years ago too. The ad completes with a jingle – “No ullu banaving .. “ (don’t try to make a fool of us!)

But that’s the impression we have about most of our politicians, isn’t it? Work that has been pending for last 3 years gets completed suddenly, just before the elections. They claim various things they will do if they get elected. But once they get elected, nothing happens at all. In fact, they are hard even to trace. Our politicians just jabber things that need not be true. (Though our new PM Narendra Modi ushers a refreshingly new hope for all Indians!) We don’t really respect such people, do we?

I don’t wish to be in that category at all. So, as I write blogs the thought I have is – am I just jabbering because I have a thought and can express it through words? Or do I actually implement/ live by what I write. Just felt like ‘Re-Viewing’ how the blogs have helped me – 

Let’s do the GREAT thing –

The moment I had this experience about the Delta Airlines pilot, my whole attitude had a paradigm shift. Though I had always heard about there being ‘class’ in whatever I do, I didn’t really imbibe that in. But, ever since I witnessed this incident, the thought process has been – I will do it the best way I know or not do it at all. This has especially helped me at work. Thanks to this incident, lots of people have been appreciating us for the way we have displayed things at showroom, and our style of working. 

YES to things –

Waris Ahluwalia’s story has been brilliant for me. Every time there is something new to do (even if I haven’t ever done it before), earlier I would resist, especially if it were out of my comfort zone. But now, the moment there is a novel idea, I am more than excited to take it up. The thought process is – WOW! There is something interesting – let’s do it! 

Passing it on –

The moment I read this story of ‘A Cup of Coffee’, I was startled at the brilliant thought of it. It was an amazing example of being compassionate towards those who couldn’t afford a coffee in that ambience. As I wrote that article, it has made me more conscious of people around me. I continue to be a patient listener, and more understanding towards the way people react to certain situations even though I am not at fault. 

Learn to Train Solo –

This has been such an eye opener for me. Ever since I have heard about this concept from Malhar, things haven’t been the same. In any given situation, now I don’t wait for company. I have started to believe that I am my best company and don’t wait for anyone to start anything. If I feel it must be done, even though no one is with me, I don’t mind starting it.

Respecting People –

From quite a long time, I have been having this as a philosophy in life – I must treat them with respect sheerly because they too are human beings. Irrespective of how they behave in a few situations, I never ever disrespect people. That has helped me win a lot of people, without breaking off any relationship till date.

Because I said I would –

This is one article that I thought was my best. When I first read about Alex Sheen, the only word that came out was – WOW! I truly feel that if I have made a commitment, I must complete it, come what may. Not because of anything else, but because I said I would! I don’t want to fail in my own eyes! Alex’s story just ensured that I just don’t promise for the heck of it, but I mean it.

What’s my Button?

Ever since the meeting with Shripal, my alertness has been at the peak. I keep glancing at my inner self and reflect what I enjoy doing, and are there things that I do but not enjoy.  I have got more clarity on what I love doing and what I don’t. Though I still haven’t found my passion, I am ensuring I do things which I enjoy doing!

Ignorance is Bliss –

This blog made me more aware about how I treat people. Do I hold on to grudges? Or do I forgive them for one wrong they did, and focus on glorious moments we have shared. From the time I have written this article, I don’t hold any personal grudges in my heart for anyone. It has given me so much peace!

Consistency in Behaviour –

If you talk to anyone who knows me, they will tell you that this is my strength. Irrespective of the situation, I never lose my composure. If I don’t like what is happening, I would never revolt in any way. I will simply withdraw and wait for the right moment to communicate things. Hence, I think people don’t mind approaching me with their issues / questions.

Leaving Awesome Memories –

The thought that I will not ‘Die Rich’ but ‘Live Rich’ is engraved in my mind. Some people will have very funny expectations about the way I should live my life. But, I am the best judge of knowing what kind of lifestyle I can afford. There is no point in showing off. At the same time, I must ensure I am a smart buyer. Why should I buy things at my friend’s store, if it is available cheaper online? I'm 100% sure of one thing – I will leave behind awesome memories for my loved ones! 

As I complete writing the reviews, I am feeling so glad that I don’t belong to that category of people who just say, but need not necessarily mean what they say. Henceforth, in all my blogs I will include at least one paragraph where I will mention how I have implemented or will implement the blog.

Is there anything you would like to share about my blogs? Any thought process that changed? Was there anything about you that changed after reading any blog? Did some realization hit you? Was there any feeling that got kindled? Would you like to give me some feedback to improve?

Would love to read from you! 

Love,
Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!