Ears for the World; Action by ME!

I was talking to one of my friends last week. As we were talking, we came to discuss about complications while buying a new car. She wanted to buy one particular car. The moment she thought she had decided, her father would tell her about another car. As she got convinced what her father was saying, her friend would tell her how someone was having an issue with the car she had decided to buy. If this was not enough, the brother-in-law had his own choice of car to convince her. The end result? She has not yet been able to decide which car to buy since the last two months. She has ultimately decided not to buy a car at all!

I believe almost all of us go through this kind of confusion at some point or the other. We feel we have decided something, but someone barges in to give their opinion, which leaves things complicated. It can happen in various things – which movie to watch; what to be have for dinner; what clothes will be right for the occasion tonight; where to go for holidays this time; which mobile is the most suitable for me; should I join gym, yoga, zumba or anything else; what career will get the best out of me; is it worth paying taxes genuinely; is it okay to lie; should I open up a second store; what is the best way of investing my money, and so on.

Various people with different backgrounds and thought processes will always give suggestions. Not that they want to confuse us, but most of the times it is a genuine concern. They want to help us out with noble intentions. But often our mind gets confused and hence delays our decision making process.

I heard a Marathi saying long ago when I was in school. The saying went – “Aikave Janache; Karave Manache!” In simple words it meant that listen to all that the world is saying. When it comes to decide, do what you feel is the best possible action. Let your ears be for the world, but when the time is for action, back yourself and take a decision. Here are a few situations – 

• I want to keep my body fit. There are various options available. Let me choose that which excites me at the outset, rather than where my friends are going.
• There are innumerable places to see in the world. Someone or the other would have travelled there too. They would convince us that the destination they went to is the best. Let me choose the destination, the place I want to go to, rather than going where my best friend is asking me to visit. 
• Let’s consider that there is a challenging situation within the family. Suggestions will flood in. But I need to think and choose the best possible solution that suits my family the best.
• Immediately the next day after marriage, my own loved ones expect ‘good news’. Between my wife and me, we need to take a call as to when we want to have a kid. 
• I wish to do branding for my business to take it to the next level. Thousands of ideas will flood in. But I should be able to look at the options and budget and take a call accordingly.
• In an arranged marriage, my family will show me guys/ girls for marriage. But I have to live with the life partner for the rest of my life. How much ever the elders try convincing me that this person is right for me, but I should know that one ‘core quality’ I am looking for and say yes only to that person.

  

Vis-à-vis my life –

Earlier, I was always a person who would do things to keep people happy. Even if I didn’t like it, but if it would make someone happy because I listened to them, I would go ahead and do it. This was until I really understood the meaning of this ‘metaphor’.

Yes, I am a great listener (anyone who knows me well can vouch for it). I will listen to anyone and everyone. But when it comes to taking the action, I do what I think is the best thing to do in the situation. At times people do call me stubborn. But I know that’s not the reality. I am flexible where I think someone has a better solution. But where I know this is how I want things to be, I do things my way. However, I ensure that in the process I do not disrespect anyone and also use proper language.

There is no guarantee that the decision/ action will be a right one. If the decision backfires, our mind (and at times people) tells us – “See, you should have listened to him. He told you. But you think of yourself to be too smart.” We might go through this. But I think it’s perfectly alright, provided I am ready to learn and grow out of it. Additionally, I feel that if I have taken an action, then I am responsible for anything that happens. Hence, I will go all out to prove that the decision I took was right. 

I personally feel that we must decide for our own lives. Yes, we must take suggestions. But the ultimate action plan should be mine. This one liner has made a huge difference to the way I live my life. Henceforth, MY EARS FOR THE WORLD; but ACTION BY ME!

Love,

Amit Kothari

...... always upgrading 

A CHILD-LIKE Adult

Diwali has been my favourite festival for a few years now. I love the lights all around, along with the buzz it creates within family and friends. I eagerly look forward to the Diwali festival (and the subsequent holidays). The excitement was equally high this year too.

Around three days before Diwali, out of blue, my wife Arpita threw up this question during dinner – “Is baar apan killa banaye kya?” (Should we make a castle this time?) The instant thought that came was – We are not kids anymore. How can we do it now? But, within a few seconds another thought followed – we had a great time when we made it as a child, didn’t we? A few childhood memories flashed, as if it was happening that very moment! What a wonderful time we had! Coming back to the present, without wasting another minute, everyone at home immediately seconded the idea.

Within a couple of days, we were at it! With a few challenges on how to go about making a ‘killa’, we managed to create a structure out of stone and mud. It wasn’t the best looking as such, but it was ‘our killa’ after all. We did it all by ourselves. I felt nostalgic. What a complete feeling it was!

I thought that apart from making a killa, all of us must be having some things we loved doing when we were kids. So, immediately today morning, I WhatsApped a few friends and asked them – what were their fondest childhood memories. Here are a few interesting replies –

• Cycling away to glory with friends or siblings
• Buying vegetables with mother
• Playing with pets and making homes for them
• Reading books for ceaseless hours
• Imagining myself being a character and imitating them
• Making and flying kites
• Making paper boats and leaving them in water streams
• Getting wet in rains
• Doing various science experiments
• Watching movies with family
• Crazy stuff like mixing shampoo with shaving cream and seeing what happens
• Dream ----- ‘One day ….’
• Playing various outdoor games – cricket, football, lagori, marbles etc.
• Drawing and painting endlessly
• Being creative with Art ‘n’ Craft
• Playing carrom/ chess/ Life/ Scrabble/ etc.
• Having fun with dolls and kitchen sets
• Collecting cards/ stamps/ coins etc.
• Playing un-harmful pranks
• Making tracks for cars to jump and tunnels to go under
• Gazing at the stars, just like that

I am sure you would have done a few out of these. Those were great moments of our lives. As we grew up, such activities have taken a backseat. We have kept them stacked somewhere way behind in our memories with lots of layers covering them. Infact, a few friends who replied also sent me a ‘Thank You’ for reviving those memories.

Agreed that we grow and life moves on. But nowhere is it written or said that once we become so called adults, we can’t do things, which we used to do as kids. At this moment, read the list again. This time with a perspective of what all we can still do in spite of having become adults!

I will not be surprised if you tell me that most (if not all) things are do-able as an adult too. It’s just that we have got so pre-occupied in our daily lives that it doesn’t strike us to enjoy doing them too. If you are one of those very shy persons, take some kid along and do them! But it is an experience certainly not worth missing!

Vis-a-vis my life –

Even I had got caught in the loop of doing only ‘adult-like’ things. Until ‘Our Killa’ came, even I was living thinking that I am enjoying the life I am living. But realised as I was writing this blog, that I am actually missing out on so many joys of life.

The joy we experience in doing these is un-paralleled. The feeling is beyond words. Doing these things (rather even thinking) even today brings a smile on our face. I personally feel that it is such moments, which make our every day delightful. Yes, we cannot become a child again. But instead of being an adult, we can certainly be ‘A CHILD-LIKE ADULT!’

Love,

Amit Kothari
…… always upgrading!

KEEPING THE FOCUS RIGHT

I did my Masters degree from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia. As I was studying there for about 18 months, I realized that one of the most awaited and exciting event that happens in Melbourne is – F1 (Formula One) race. Melbourne is the place where the F1 season begins. One canalways feel the excitement in the air!

A few of my friends in Melbourne were great fans of F1. They would always make it a point to watch the F1 race. They told me something, which was brilliant. They told me that the cars zoom at the speed of 300 km/hour. (The sound in the circuit is deafening. You need ear plugs to be able to sit and watch it live). Until their focus is on the road ahead, they are always in control of their car. The moment their focus dwindles even for a mini second, they suffer in the race.

How true this is in our lives too! Depending on where my focus is, so are the results for me too. Let’s consider a few real life examples –

·         When I say it is a tough subject for me, how many times haveI scored well in it?

·        When my thought is that I am going to make a call to a customer who is a little tricky, do I actually ever end  up convincing that customer?

·         When I am of the opinion that I don’t think this friendship will last long, have I ever mended that friendship?

·         When I say it is recession time, have I ever grown in my business during that period?

The point I am attempting to make is that when I think of a situation in a negative way (which is my focus), invariably the outcome is never positive. Instead, how about shifting focus–

·   Irrespective of how tough the subject looks, with a little bit of extra studies, I should be able to score extremely well.

·        Though the customer looks tricky, today seems to be my day. I can convert any one into my customer.

·    Even when the friend is not responding the way I would like him to, I will take that initiative to build the relationship and get back to the good old times.

·     Doesn’t matter if it is a recession. Not everyone has stopped buying. Even if there is one customer who is buying, how can I get him to come to me?

VIS-À-VIS my life –

More often than not, I look at any situation with an intent to find a solution to it. Some situations bewilder me; some are fresh challenges; some don’t seem to have a straight solution.But when I set my mindto think – what is the best solution to this issue, a solution pops up automatically. I think this happens because I shift my focus onto – how to solve this?

I firmly believe in this concept and have seen this working for me. When I get my focus right, positive outcomes happen! Hence, I have promised myself to always KEEPMY FOCUS RIGHT …

Love,
Amit Kothari
……always upgrading!